Back to the Future…

It’s been ages since I last posted and that wasn’t the way it was supposed to be – sorry.  I got started on my chemotherapy on 30th May, lost my hair shortly after (15 days) and was prompted to blog with my hair loss poem and since then, it’s been an effort to stay positive and cling on to my sanity and I guess that’s what I’ve been doing.

On Tuesday 12th September, I had my sixth and final session of chemo – what a moment and how good it feels that despite the fact that it is now dragging me down into that awful nauseous, achy place once more, I know now that this is the last time and for that I am so thankful.

I went back into the hospital on Wednesday where I was less than graciously ‘tattooed’ with small dots in readiness to be zapped with radiotherapy commencing at the start of October – I often wonder how people who like to hang on to their dignity manage in such situations when you’re asked to flop your breasts out and lay on a cold table in front of all and sundry…

I’ve only really succumbed to one period of serious depression during the course of this summer, although I’ve cried more tears in the last five months than in the last 40 years, but mostly in my ‘down’ times when I’ve been alone contending with the many millions of ‘what ifs’ that have flooded my lonely mind.  I am planning nice things now – going to see Dr Hook (for my sins!) and Shalamar, with their soundtrack to my lifetime.  I’ve got Annie booked for my pre-Christmas musical treat and even a holiday to break up the autumn term – a chance for rest and recuperation and some special time with my husband.  I have always been a positive person and have tried to see some good in every awful encounter that has come my way and boy, there have been more than an average person’s fair share in my lifetime!  I’ve started my Level 3 Counselling Skills course and I intend to go on and qualify as a counsellor this time round after putting it off a couple of years ago.  Funny that cancer makes you look at what you really want from life and to try and do what you can to go out there and get it, but it does.  The saying ‘you only live once’ never meant as much to me as it does now and my motto has always been that you shouldn’t live to regret the things that you wanted to do, but didn’t.

This is my ‘looking forward’ photo hoping that 2018 might be the year that I wanted 2017 to be.

Happy days everyone x

2 thoughts on “Back to the Future…

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